All Aboard the Cock-a-Doodle Express to Deulmusae. AKA Dicktown, South Korea. A restaurant dedicated to the 100% all-beef thermometer.

But before we begin, let me first give you the brief history of how this joint became obsessed with the Jimmy Johnson. As legend has it, this eatery sits at the base of a temple. When one day a monk told the owner the restaurant was too feminine. Caught in a pickle the owner decided to pack the place with peckers and hasn’t stopped to this day.

From the moment you walk up the entrance to Deulmusae, you can tell this place ain’t dickin’ around. Three-foot tall tallywackers line up the driveway like meat thermometers letting you know you are hot on the trail for some Korean kielbasa.After heading up the helmet highway you will be struck in your tracks by a spirited stiffie standing in the sky. Amongst it are a range of wangs all shapes and sizes. Take your time to do a close inspection of these erections to find the hidden gems and you may even snatch a sweet peek at a vagina thrown in the mix.

Time to Enter Dulmusae

When you first walk in the doors of Deulmusae you’ll be greeted by dozens of ding-a-lings darting from the wall. Exactly what you would think a map of the world would look like, if it were made entirely of trouser snakes. It’s literally a world of wieners.

After getting our seats we did what any sane dipstick lover would do and ordered some dong-dong-ju. Yes, dong-dong-ju. A popular alcohoic drink in Korea that is a type of rice-wine very similar to Makgeolli. But this dong-dong ju dribbled out of a disco sticked (ding dong) shaped pitcher.

Having guzzled down the dong it was time to explore this pocket rocket playground. We were taken back with how raunchy this restaurant got with a rod. This really is when pictures are worth a thousand words.

*If you have kids around or are at work you may want to save this for later.

Dining at Dulmusae

The food at Deulmusae might not be worth its weight in wang, but let’s be honest, you don’t come to penis paradise for the food. You come seeking Russell the love muscle, the master of ceremonies, the steamin’ semen roadway.

The food at Deulmusae might not be worth its weight in wang, but let’s be honest, you don’t come to penis paradise for the food. You come seeking Russell the love muscle, the master of ceremonies, the steamin’ semen roadway.

Deulmusae won’t disappoint serving up his and her phallic plates with both privates.

Once you’re done, Deulmusae will bring out fresh cups of free coffee served of course in their captain winky mugs, with a love stick stirrer for those who like sugar. The coffee was D-licious but the best thing was you now had energy for the rest of this wanksters paradise.

Once you’re done, Deulmusae will bring out fresh cups of free coffee served of course in their captain winky mugs, with a love stick stirrer for those who like sugar. The coffee was D-licious but the best thing was you now had energy for the rest of this wanksters paradise.

When we were first seated at Deulmusae, there was one thing on my mind the whole time. It was, of course, getting that money shot. I knew exactly what it was when the moment I sat down and saw a fountain of a man rockin’ out with his cock out with a full stream of love juice while a horny heroine admired from a nearby rock. Man was I pumped I brought my tripod for this dick pic.

There really are no words or reasons to explain why this statue is there but I couldn’t have been happier.  You cannot tell from the picture, but the peepin’ Tom statue in the background is actually another cock rocker with a robotic skin flute moving back and forth.

After photographing this for a while, the owner introduced himself and let me take pictures of his private parts playroom where he handcrafts all the genuine genitalia.

We couldn’t have had a better end to the Deulmusae’s dick delight, because the staff was so friendly and willing to show us around the willie wonderland. They also gifted us with knob shaped keychains! Our friend made a few purchases from their man meat merchandise and we ended our day with a delightful dick dessert at the entrance. We’ve added directions below, as well as the rest of the pictures of this hotdog heaven.

Directions to Deulmusae

Deulmusae’s address is 374 Jikdong-ri, Sohol-eup, Pocheon-si, Gyeonggi-do. The easiest way to get to Deulmusae is to take the subway to Uijeongbu take exit 4 and take the buses shown above.

You can also plan your own route by changing the starting point in the map we provided!